Sunday, April 28, 2013

Late-Night Houston Hooters Quote-of-the-Night

After the OKC/HOU game...
(in which the Rockets came back from a 26 point deficit only to lose in the last few seconds of the game- Note to HOU- on those "strategic end-of-game fouls", don't hack the guy with a 98% FT average)
...we hadn't indulged in the pre-game meal down in the press room, so we were a bit peckish.

We tried to go to a place near the hotel with the intriguing name of "Twin Peaks"...
I argued that it was a strip club, and thus the menu options were probably limited.
Blee countered that the place had windows, so it wasn't a topless club.
Hmmm. Ok, let's give it a shot.
We never found out who was correct- it was so crowded we bailed...

We went to Plan B, Pappasitos... They locked the door as we approached.
It could be that it was after 11pm, or it might have been that they saw me facing off with a clueless driver in a parking lot pas de deux...

...So we wound up at Hooters.
(Who didn't see THAT coming?)

Aside from the witty banter, (mostly) innocent flirting, not-so-subtle innuendo, and dirty jokes, the subject of food came up. Kati (our waitress, owner of all-organic free range implants) had spent some time in Spain where she had sampled camel in a market, was questioning Dingo about eating kangaroo... She wondered if any 'roo part was particularly better than another, and how it would compare to camel.

She was the one who opined the winning quote:
"I just want to eat the hump and the pouch."

Uh... Yeah.

TBG, nauseated and titillated at the same time...

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Quote of the Day - Houston

Early edition:
(As Yours Truly was attempting to correct a small navigation error)
Dingo: "Give it a try. Surely it won't be the stupidest thing you do today,"

Followed by:
(As YT was trying to escape the Dead End Parking Garage by driving back down the UP ramp 4 floors)
Blee: "Give it a shot. What's the worst that could happen?"

"With friends like these, who needs enemas?"

Just What We Needed...

Rain, Lightning, and the human stupidity that goes along with it.

Houston We Have A Problem...


Wotta evening.

I had originally intended to hook up with KX59 and Belle back in February during a visit to the NBA All Star Game in Houston.
Alas, I was tied up with stuff for A Nice Golf Course and never made the trip.

However, arena visits are like city buses for me... There's always another one coming.

I'm on a little visit to a few NBA Arenas (Houston, Brooklyn, Oklahoma City) this week, so I let KX59 know and we set up a meet.
There's a place near my hotel where I know I can get good crawfish (in season) and I suggested it, and he was amenable... We had a bit of a late arrival to IAH (Thanks Sequester!) and busted ass for Southside Freeway and our hotels to freshen up.
We got to Ragin' Cajun only a few minutes later than the proposed meet-up time, by which point KX59 had had 2 beers and already sent me 2 text messages about punctuality and alcohol consumption.

I dragged along Blee and Dingo (who had flown directly from London for this little shindig) and we tucked into some awesome cajun specialities- I had a bucket of crawfish (small, but very tasty!) and a boudin link... Nice!
Other items consumed at our table included Etoufee, Jambalaya, more boudin, and gumbo...
Belle showed me a new way to consume boudin- open it up and spread it on crackers.
Who knew?

Good conversation, lots of fun... Lots of abuse for Belle who confesses to indulging in a different social media platform these days... I promised not to divulge her new passion, but for the right incentive I could be persuaded to share a hint or two.
A good time was had by all- including the Dingo, who was falling asleep in his etoufee.
Poor bastard.

On to the arena...


Thursday, April 25, 2013

Nicely Put

I'm liking the cut of this guy's jib...

Via That Guy at Rock in the Sea of Chaos

"We are told not just Muslims based on the actions of a few...
I suggest we give millions of responsible American gun owners
the same courtesy."
I like that...


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Cordless Phones, Luggage & Pressure Cookers Oh My!

...or, "TBG, Please come to the lobby; A nice man from DHS is here to see you."

So... There I was, minding my own business, trying to buy a GSM cell phone for an upcoming gig...

Oh look. $70. Exactly what I need.

Wait... What's that in the side bar?
Pressure cookers!
Holy crap.  I'm outta here... Clear cache, erase cookies.
Man, I wish I had set Firefox to private browsing mode before hitting this site...

Which reminds me... 
Where was I reading that someblogger (Cough!*KX59*Cough!) was looking to buy a pressure cooker?


Sunday, April 21, 2013

Dispatches From A Nice Golf Course: "Dock that volunteer a day's pay!"

Tournament Friday, 2:00 pm
Things are going reasonably well.
(In a nutshell, I'm only moderately sick, play is underway and we are a data-generating machine.)

The last group is getting ready to tee off, so in 20 minutes or so we will start breaking down equipment on the First 9.

The phone rings... SGK* gets it.
SGK: "Ball position."
SGK: "Yes... We have volunteers on the 10th green."
(Longer pause)
SGK: "Could be. Let me check."
She puts the phone on hold.
SGK tunes our Live Feed from Hole 16 to Hole 10.
We all look at the feed.

Oh crap. You're killin' me, Whitey.

She picks up the phone-
SGK: "Yep. Hes ours. We'll take care of it."
(Long pause)
SGK: "Yes sir. I understand."
(Long pause)
SGK: "Yessir."
(Long pause.)
SGK: "Yes sir, I'll let him know."

She picks the mic for her radio.
SGK: "Hole 10 green, come in."
Radio: "10 green, go ahead base."
SGK: "Hole 10, is that you I see, sitting on the grass next to the greenside bunker? INSIDE THE ROPES? IN THE FIELD OF PLAY?!"
The figure stands up, moves out of camera shot.
SGK: "If I get another call from Tournament H.Q. about you, I'm going to move you straight to 11 green, back there with the moccasins and the copperheads.

After the ass-chewing I knew she got from THQ I'm surprised she didn't go out there and beat him to death with his Geodimeter... Or at least stab him with the tripod.

She's starting to get mellow in her old age...

*Other SGK@ANGC content here and here and here...


Saturday, April 20, 2013

Good Reads

I've picked up a new entry on my RSS reader.
Erin at Lurking Rythmically has quite a varied range of topics...
My man McThag linked to her post on 2A rights and her takedown of a recent commenter who was dismissive of her rights. She kicked some ass. Completely and eloquently...

She's also heavily entrenched in the RPG activities...
Reading some of her stuff (especially her Traveller discussions) harkened me back to my lost weekends from my high school days where we spent waaaay too much time rolling oddly-shaped dice and arguing damage probabilities, unconventional tactics and good-evil-law-chaos alignment.

Read her stuff on her D&D campaign called Pellatarrum...
She's put a ton of work into it. Great stuff if you have any D&D/RPG background.

She's over on the sidebar now... Go. Read...


Friday, April 19, 2013

Watching Watertown

...hundreds and hundreds of alphabet soup people (ATF, FBI, WFD, BPD, etc) standing around...

All I can think is that every one of the mf'ers is on the clock. Cha-ching!

I'd tell 80% of them to clock out and go home.

Edit: 8:47pm - DEA? FBI Gang Taskforce? Really?
I want a jacket that has "EIEIO" in big reflective letters...


Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Daily Comments - 4/17/13

Watching the US Senate live feed from c-span...

One of the many 'blogs in my RSS feed (I think it might have been Robb NoPants) sugested that before you can write legislation on something, you should be a PhD on the topic,  not just be able to spell most of the terms in the nomenclature...

From some of the speeches I've heard today, I'm convinced that most of the US Senate (and probably the US Congress) can't be trusted with a bucket of piss or a burnt-out match.


Edit- 2:03PM EDT -
ESPECIALLY Jack Reed (D - Rhode Island)
Deceptive quotes out of context, prevarication, cherry picking his stats, conflagration and outright lies. Double FTMF with a curare-tipped barbed-wire dildo.

Edit - 2:06PM EDT
Oh yeah- One more thing...
"Oh no... This new background check system can never be used as a base for national registry or confiscation."
Like we can believe ANY-fucking-THING you Washingturd assholes say...
"This legislation will not add one dime to the deficit."
"We will have the most transparent administration in the history of the US"
And my personal favorite:
"The public will have 5 days to review every bill that lands on my desk."
Or any of the several hundred more examples why we cannot put any faith in anything they say.

Last one: 2:55 -
They are going waay out of the way to refer the legislation as "Manchin-Toomey" and avoid mentioning Chucky Schumer... Having him as the primary name on the act would be the death-knell to the bill.


Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics

That 90% figure they are using regarding background checks...
As in the President's tweet:

First- the sampling demographic-
"Polls of voters in Virginia, New Jersey and Pennsylvania in January by the independentQuinnipiac University"
 And how many people?
1,134 in Virgina, 1,647 in New Jersey and 1,221 in Pennsylvania...

Hardly 90% of "all Americans", in my estimation...

Why don't you ask some folks in Florida, Alabama or Texas. You know, the ones that have been to gun shows and know that 95% of sales there ARE background checked, instead of asking dumbass Yankees who wouldn't know a multi-clip magazine if it bit them in the ass.


Double Standard at NBC

You know, one person can fire off a letter/email/telegram complaining about some talking head making a comment that is too conservation or (Heaven forbid) something that promotes Christian values and the network will fire that person so fast all you will hear is the whistle as they fly out the door.
MSLSDNBC will get THOUSANDS of complaints about Chris Mathews for his immediately linking the Boston Marathon bombing to right-wing extremist groups...
Guess what?
He'll still have a job there forever.

Friggin' hypocrites.


Just A Few Thoughts... I try to get recovered from my trip to A Nice Golf Course.

On the radio yesterday around 2:00 - (Fox New Radio, no less!)
The talking voice was discussing the new gun control legislation and about the possibilities of adding restrictions on "multi-clip magazines"...


If you want to read some asshattery, dial up your favorite search engine and google "multi clip magazine"


As news came out on the Boston Marathon bombing all I could think about was how lives can be saved if we had better laws controlling bombs and explosives...
(Seems my man McThag had the same thoughts...


Listening to the press conferences from Boston I finally realize why JayG at MArooned always refers to the mayor of Boston as "Mumbles Menino". Dude talks like he has a mouth full of cat turds.


I don't care what AP calls them, they are still Illegal Aliens. Period.


Nanny Bloomberg thinks there is something wrong with you if you sell a gun to a family member.
So... In his mind, if you want to do this, you are mentally ill and should be prohibited from firearm ownership anyway.
Does that mean that if you disagree with him about trans-fats and 32 oz. soft drinks, does that make you mentally ill too?
Obese=Mentally Ill?

Sorry- FTMF.


Sunday, April 14, 2013

In lieu of REAL content...

Another Talking Dog...


Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Still Alive...

...but just barely.

I took a quick trip to NJ on the 28th and a woman sitting behind me on the plane was working on coughing up a lung the whole way...
I was thinking "Perfect- the one time I don't take my Airborne is the time Typhoid Mary is sitting behind me."

By the end of the day on the 29th I couldn't catch my breath and any attempt at a deep inhale would leave me blue from hacking and my throat looked like something was clawing at the back of it.

It was all I could do to get to the airport at 5:30 on Saturday AM for my flight home.
I got back to Jax, and barely made it home.

I coughed and sweated through the rest of the weekend, hoping that I would shake it off before my next departure (Monday AM - to Augusta ).

No good. When Monday rolled around I wasn't any better... The Woman Who Knows Most Things and the Perfect Child were concerned and told me I shouldn't go.
Right. I'll just call in sick. Someone can just take over my project...

The guys bundled me into the cargo space in the van and we all drove to Augusta.
Tuesday through Sunday we got all our hardware setup and worked on testing our software and procedures- fortunately my staff here worked well on their own...
On Sunday I mustered all my strength and did my training class-
Teaching our 66 volunteers how to do our thing...

Most often heard phrase this week: "How you doin' Big Guy? Cause you look like shit."

Yeah- well, looks aren't deceiving. I feel like shit.
Horrible hacking cough, fever. Still.

One of my volunteers comes up as we are wrapping up on Monday night. I'm sitting outside my ops trailer, coughing and sweating...
"Hey- let me take a look at you..."
He tells me he's a PA over in Charleston. He looked at my eyes and took my pulse...
"Hmmmm. Let me go out to my car for a second."
Comes back with a stethoscope and a thermometer...
He checks me out. 
"Yeah- you've got walking pneumonia."
He writes up 2 scrips - "Publix pharmacy is open 'til 9. Go fill these. Now."

Started taking my meds yesterday AM, and I actually feel semi-human this afternoon...
Up until this afternoon, I have had only enough energy to get my work done, then go straight back to my room - skipping dinner - and going straight to bed.
Today I actually feel good enough to break out my laptop, check my emails, reply to a few...

And I guess I could write a little something to let people know I'm still alive. Mostly.